Computer
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We have a deficit of wonder. I think it’s because of computers. When I ask people questions now, they get on their computer—`Gimme a few minutes and I’ll let you know…’ And I’m, like, ‘Nooooo!’ I want them to wonder about it, man. I don’t want to know the answer. I just want them to wonder about it.
―Tom Waits
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Poem: With Thanks to the Field Sparrow, Whose Voice is So Delicate and Humble
Poem: Dark Matter and Dark Energy
Poem: Poem with Human Intelligence
Poem: All Watched Over By Machines Of Loving Grace
Breaking: The Onion Has Detected A Virus On Your Computer
HP Unveils Non-Computer For Those Who Don't Need A Computer
New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Thought We’d Live Inside Computers By Now
Man Still Thinks Of Computer Virus As Cartoon Worm That Bites Through Screen
Man Wishes Computer Could Do Thing It Already Can Do
Coworker With Two Computer Screens Not Fucking Around
Area Dad Just Wants Computer With The Basics
New Report Finds Computers Actually Outpaced Human Intelligence Back With Commodore 64
Heroic Computer Dies To Save World From Master's Thesis
Computer Analyst Unable To Fashion Crude Tools, Grind Wheat
Computer Scientists Say AI’s Underdeveloped Ethics Have Yet To Move Beyond Libertarian Phase
Conservatives Boycott Computers After Noticing Keyboard Can Be Used To Type ‘Trans’
Report: System Update Means Computer Going To Have To Go Away For Little While
Financial News: Due to Computer Error, You Owe The Onion $47,000
Dow Drops 600 Points Over Picture Of Worried Stock Broker Staring At Computer Screen
Computer Not Looking Forward To Having To Replace Man's Repetitive, Mindless Job
New MIT Study Suggests Sonic The Hedgehog Might Be Living In Computer Simulation
Nerds Take Over Military Base With Computers, Other Nerd Shit
NSA: ‘Can Somebody Good At Computers Help Us?’
Delusional Man Turning Off Laptop Like He’s Done With It For Night
Terrified Laptop Wakes Up Inside Case
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
Frustrated Writer Tosses Another Crumpled-Up Laptop In Trash Can
Laptop Gets To Age When It Can Be Lightly Tossed Sometimes
Experts Advise Against Throwing Laptop Across Office Even Though It Will Feel Incredible
Sleeping Man Flanked By Laptop, Phone, Earbuds Like Egyptian Pharaoh Buried With All His Treasures
Man Checks To Make Sure No One Home Before Recording Song Into Laptop
Child Weirded Out After Bumping Into Teacher Outside Laptop
NSA Scrambling To Reestablish Whereabouts Of Man Who Covered Laptop Camera With Tape
Americans Demand New Form Of Media To Bridge Entertainment Gap While Looking From Laptop To Phone
Apple Reveals New MacBook Pro Will Be Refurbished Dell Laptop They Got Off Craigslist For $500
Breaking: Flight Attendant Currently Attempting To Pass Cup Of Cranberry Juice Over Your Laptop
The most boring video ever made
The blinking cursor on your computer screen